Communication: Fight and Flight

Purpose of activity: To understand that in some situations, assertiveness and negotiation don't work
Life skills: communication & interpersonal relationships, self-awareness, critical thinking

Materials: Small prizes for the winners of the race and the screaming contest.

Steps:

Take children into a large open space where they can run and scream without disturbing anyone.
Tell them that you are going to teach them two methods of being assertive.  However, first you want them to race each other. (Find a short race they can run, for example, to a nearby tree or wall and back again.)
After the race, explain that there are some situations where assertiveness and discussion (fight) do not work. These are usually situations where you are threatened with violence. In these situations, flight (running away) is the best options.
Announce that now you will have a screaming contest. The person who screams loudest wins.
After the contest, explain that in some situations, screaming may be the best defence, particularly if many other people are nearby. These situations include children being followed or touched by people they do not know or like.
Give prizes to the best runner and loudest screamer.
Ask the children to brainstorm some situations and to explain whether they would run or scream, and why.
You can finish your session with some games.

Communication, Saying No!

Purpose of activity:
 • To develop skills to help children when they are being teased or bullied by other children.

• To help children learn how to say 'No' to what they don't want.


Life skills: Communication & interpersonal relationships, self-awareness, critical thinking


Important points

Girls in particular need to practice being assertive and be praised for assertive behaviour.

Materials

 • None


Steps

1. Explain that one way of negotiating is to make a very clear statement when you don't want something. Ask the children what they would say if someone in the market says, 'Come with me I have a special present for you.'

2. Divide children into groups of girls and boys only. Ask them to discuss the main pressures they face in their lives (demands for sex being forced to work etc). Here are some examples from a group of children in Delhi:

- If someone wants you to go with them

- If someone ties to ask you to take bad things (drugs, cigarettes)

- If a man tries to give you a gift

3. Explain that we have to practise saying NO to these pressures. For example, in the case of girls, they can practise saying ‘No’ to a man who strokes them on the  while talking to them.  The girl turns round fast and shouts NO loudly before moving away quickly. Here are some other examples:

For girls

• A friend is trying to make you steal fruit from the market stalls.

• A man asks a girl to go to the cinema with him.

For boys

• A boy is trying to make you smoke cigarettes.

• A group of boys thinks it is funny to tease girls  and he wants you to join them. Puppets can help children role-play situations and responses.

 4. Continue practising until you are sure that everyone has overcome fears and embarrassment. Make sure all say, ‘NO’ firmly, loudly and clearly. A group of children were asked what were the hardest situations for them to say, NO. Here are some replies: If my friend is cheating in exams and he wants me to join him; When you don’t want to go somewhere with someone; When your friends encourage you to do something e.g. to smoke, to go to the cinema on a school day.

Life skills: Communication & interpersonal relationships, self awareness, critical thinking.

To improve communications skills & identify positive and negative ways of communicating.
Important points: This activity helps children look at how they work with others. Encourage the group to think deeply about what happened when they were drawing.
Materials:
Large sheets of paper for whole group
Marker pens of crayons for half the group
Sticky-tape
Steps:
1. Divide the children into pairs and give each pair a large sheet of paper and a marker pen or crayon.
2. Ask each pair to sit at a table or on the floor. Then tell them to hold the marker pen or crayon together and without talking draw on their large sheet of paper:
A house
A place of worship (temple, mosque, church etc)
Happiness
3. When they have finished and still without talking ask them to score their own picture by writing a mark out of ten. Only talk when everyone has finished the drawing.
4. When the pairs have finished, each pair presents the picture to whole group and explains how they drew their picture.

Final discussion:
How did you communicate while drawing?
What happened when you had different ideas?
How did you reach agreement without speaking?
Which was the easiest to draw, the most difficult? Why?
Discussion ideas:
Some children will have used sign language using their free hand or their heads. This shows the importance of body language
When the children had different ideas about the picture, one child had to lead and the other to follow. If that does not happen, they can end up tearing the paper and with no picture. They might have taken it in turns to take the lead or maybe only one child made the decisions. Does this mean the non-leading partner needs to be more assertive? Or maybe s/he recognized the other child had a clear vision which was worth following.
They needed to be very sensitive to each other’s movements, otherwise all the lines would have been very unclear.
Although it was difficult, the picture succeeded, this happened because they worked together well on a common task. They were communicating to succeed.
They probably found it easiest to draw the house, more difficult to draw the temple and most difficult to draw happiness. It is easier to reach an agreement on concrete things and not so easy to agree on abstract things like values and concepts.